Blessed Birthday

Can I just say that my house is incredible? Not the physical building, but the beautiful women that fill it :)

I have never felt more loved and appreciated than I did the last few days. The amazing women of Shiloh decided to throw me a surprise birthday party on Friday night. It was epically awesome. I was completely surprised :) They put so much time and effort into planning it, inviting people, and keeping me oblivious about the entire thing.

I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my birthday. I had lunch with two of my beautiful sisters, had a short (but so sweet) walk with my best friend, went on a relaxing run during which I had great time with the Lord, and then spent time in fellowship with some CRU women on the quad.

And if that wasn't enough, they threw me a little party tonight as well. They made me a delicious cake, my roommate Kfan made homemade chai tea, and they surrounded me with love and affirmation. Two of our neighbors, Gabe and Neal joined the party as well :) And to end the night, I grabbed a helmet and hopped on the back of Gabe's motorcycle and took a little ride through Harrisonburg. It was my first time on a motorcycle and it was sooo FUN! 

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  -Marcel Proust

Logan, Amy, Katie, Laurel, Amanda, Carly and Bethany...I love you all so much and God has truly blessed me with more than I will ever deserve. I cannot thank you enough for everything you've done for me :) You ladies are absolutely amazing.

Robbed and Restored.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:25-26

Flesh is good at deceiving. Satan manupulates it constantly. He fills our heart with anger and bitterness. He takes away love and compassion. He's just plain evil. He's a thief and a liar, the best of them all.

I have been experiencing this robbing of joy. Satan has been attacking the crap out of me lately. One thing after another, he just keeps slipping in the lies and using the perfect bait in attempt to make me grab on. As I was praying this morning, I told God I needed His comfort. I needed Him to show me it was going to be okay. I wanted to know that regardless of the situations going on in my life right now, I was going to prosper and still find joy. God led me straight to Psalm 73 this morning...and in just 2 verses, my hope was renewed. 

My heart is going to fail me on a daily basis. It's going to desire things that the Lord says "no" to, it's going to show resentment to people I love, it's going to produce jealousy against people I admire...all in all, it has the potential of destruction. Remembering that I'm a sinner is the first step to that gift of joy. We are imperfect, sinful beings. Beings that need Jesus on a daily basis. 

God knew our hearts were going to deceive us, that's why He sent Jesus to save us.

My situations right now are hard, especially on top of starting out my junior year and all the other things going on in my life. But I can firmly hold true to the fact that I can do nothing apart from Jesus Christ.

NOTHING.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, my apologies. Things have been kind of all over the place for me the last 2 weeks. No need to go in detail, I’ll just say that the Lord and I have spent A LOT of time together sorting out emotions, asking Him His purpose, and daily laying down my life for the sake of glorifying His.

It’s been difficult, but the Lord has seen me through and has corrected all the lies and doubts Satan has filled my life with the past 2 weeks. He has proven yet again His Sovereignty, His Power, and most importantly, His Grace.

I have been given a lot to think about since I’ve gotten back to JMU: leadership team for CRU and the sacrifices, time and focus that go into it, thinking of new ideas for the prayer team, what the vision for my house is, and how God is going to use me this year in all of this.

Leadership Retreat on Thursday was such a great catalyst to the start of the semester. As we were told (and for the most part knew), as students we’re going to have a lot more responsibility in CRU than we did last semester. Knowing that we had more weight on our shoulders this semester than last, the staff and interns emphasized the most important thing that we CANNOT forget in all of this.

We must love Jesus. 

“for apart from me you can do nothing.” –John 15:5

We were asked to read and meditate on Psalm 127:1-2.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat – for he grants sleep to those he loves.”

If God is our main focus, our reason behind our ideas, our motivation…then we will see fruitfulness from our labor. With more responsibility comes more time and effort. More time and effort result in less free time/lack of sleep. Verse two specifically says that God will grant rest to those he loves. As long as we keep Him as our motivation, He will give us all that we need.

The opposite effect would be God not being included in our plans. Being a leader it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of going, planning, and doing. I am guilty of this. I have seen myself get so entangled in how effective or how powerful a certain event may be that I forget to include God at all. How easy it is to forget the ultimate source of the Power.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I’m a pretty metaphorical person. So I look at it this way…as individuals, we make up the body of Christ. Just like different parts in a car make up the body. Each and every part of the car is necessary for it to work correctly.

You’re getting ready for a road trip with your friends. You of course, want your car to be spotless. Nice and waxed, engine and battery checked, oil and antifreeze checked, vacuumed and Febreezed…you make sure everything is working. By the time you’ve done all that, you’re ready to go. You can’t wait to get on the road. You pick up your friends, load in the luggage, turn up the music and you’re off. About an hour into the ride you notice your gas light comes on. Crap. So there you are, stuck out in the middle of nowhere, with a carful of anxious friends, a beautiful vehicle…with no power. I know that may have been a little lengthy, but I wanted the point to be made.

We tend to worry so much about the work that goes into a study, event, etc. that we forget to focus on the only real necessity that makes it profitable…the Lord. I won’t go into it much more, but just from saying that, it’s easy to conclude that by not going to the Lord and focusing on Him, we are telling Him that we can handle this _______________ (fill in the blank – study, event, etc.) by ourselves. We are capable of impacting people’s lives. We can change people’s hearts. False. Wrong. Yeah, right.

“for apart from me you can do NOTHING.”

This is one thing I’ve been really praying about and will continue to pray about throughout the year. CRU has to be Christ-centered in everything we do whether it is an intense theological discussion or a dance party. It MUST be because we love Jesus. That must be our motivation.

Are there things in your life that you may do without including God in?

Do you really believe and live in the truth of John 15:5?

 

Home Sweet Shiloh

My new home for the next 2 years. I've fallen completely in love with everything about it... it's purpose, it's beauty, and it's people. 

Welcome to Shiloh.

Judges 21:21

under my loft

my dresser/jewelry display

closet (and there's extra room!)

my desk

upstairs bathroom

upstairs living room

upstairs kitchen

our pretty staircase

welcome sign :)

front door

the "nook"

He's Been In Our Shoes.

Deciding to do my Beth Moore "Breaking Free" bible study this morning during my quiet time was bittersweet. The bitter part was realizing that I wasn't with my team in Australia anymore (the girls started this bible study in Australia and we met once a week to talk about it). The sweet part was what I learned this morning.

"If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." -Psalm 119:92

I had never read this verse before, so it immediately caught my attention. I rephrased it in my own words in the margins to say this: "If Your Word hadn't brought me joy, I would be completely hopeless." Today's lesson was based around betrayal. Going into it, I thought I wasn't going to get much out of it. I'm not bashing Beth Moore in any sense, in fact, I have learned so much about my heart and motives from this study in the past 6 weeks and the feeling of being free from that bondage. My comment is simply stating that some days impact me more than others. This week in particular, she's discussing child abuse. Fortunately, this is not something of my past, praise God. But because of that, it's been difficult for me to relate to the studies. Today however was quite different. Broken hearts because of betrayal was the topic this morning. 

David was betrayed by a close friend in Psalm 55. Reading about his hurt and the pain he felt because of this began stirring some thoughts and memories inside my head. Beth Moore put it perfectly when she said: "Only a person who has had intimate access to your heart can betray you to the point David described." So true. For the sake of my own heart and the situation that this struck in me specifically, details will end here. The point I want to share with you and hope to encourage you about is this: We can go to the throne of grace when we've been betrayed. Why? Because Jesus has been through the same thing, and He conquered it.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:14-16

Why is Christ our best option? He sympathizes with us, He knows we're weak, He has been tempted just like we have, and more importantly, He has gone through it without sin.

"Heart-shattering betrayal is one of the hardest experiences we ever encounter. To best know how to bind up the heart broken by betrayal, He chose to experience it. Christ ministers to the betrayed through His example." -Beth Moore

We cannot live with the wounds of betrayal. It will tear us apart and greatly hinder any plans the Lord has for us. We must let Him fix us. Why would we avoid taking it to the cross? Jesus endured betrayal by Judas, why do we think He doesn't understand? Christ, of all people, knows what the heartache of betrayal entails...and He also knows exactly how to heal it. We just have to let Him.

Yes, Judas was being tempted and ruled by Satan in his selfishness, but God used that to show us just one more incredible thing about our Savior. God uses betrayal for our good.

"Betrayal can either hurt or hurt. Or hurt and help. The choice is up to us." -Beth Moore

Lunch I Can Afford.

My second day back in the States and I've got a "to do" list a page long. Yesterday was spent helping my body clock adjust itself. I thought I was doing great yesterday...woke up at 8am after getting in around 2am. Then I snuck in a 2 hour nap between 4-6pm and headed to bed at the normal time. But this morning, my body decides to wake up at 5:30am, ready to go. Hopefully today will be the last of the adjusting. On the topic of adjustment, I drove to Williamsburg and Richmond today and man, did that feel weird. Riding on the right side of the road for 6 weeks left me feeling super hesitant today. And the prices of food!!! They're amazing here. This is the one adjustment I really love. I can actually buy a cup of coffee for $2 here! As well as lunch that doesn't cost over $20. It was a happy day for my wallet.

It's been weird being home. I'm not going to lie, I miss Australia...a lot. But I know that the Lord used those 6 weeks to show me how effective He can be at JMU this year. He has sparked my heart and is urging me to make the most out of the next 2 years I have there. I don't want to fall back into my usual routine of classes and schedules. I want to go back running to tell people about Jesus. I have so many resources to my advantage: a car, a house, cell phone, Facebook. These things I lacked in Australia, but ministry still happened. I think one of the biggest things I am taking away from Australia is the potential for witnessing. In Australia, ministry was hard mainly because communication was very limited. Here at JMU I have a car that I can use to pick freshman up and take them places. I also have a house, a place to invite people over to hang out and have dinner. God put me in the situation where ministry was hard, but still possible so that He could show me that ministry at JMU can be so much easier if I just acknowledge all of the resources He's blessed me with.

I'll be back at school in less than a week, moving into my house, catching up with my best friends, and slowly getting back into the "college life" routine. I want to make the most out of this year. I want everyone in CRU to desire this same thing. I don't want to keep this vision for myself. I want God to open the eyes of CRU and make their heart see how beneficial their purpose as a student is and what it can do for His Kingdom.

Debrief with a little bit of coral reef.

What an insane last few days.

This past week has included the following:
sharing our faith with incredible boldness, pouring into the Aussie Student Lifers as much as possible, saying so many goodbyes, taking infinite amounts of pictures, lots of laughs, cleaning and packing, debriefing and snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef.

Exhausting? For sure. Sad? Some parts. Encouraging? Of course. Adventurous? See last activity of the week. The last week of ministry I can honestly say that I went all out for my Lord. The conversations that He led me to were incredible. I had made up my mind on Sunday night that I was going to give every conversation I was in everything I had and not hold anything back. Because of how great our God is, He led me to people who fortunately, were not overwhelmed or freaked out about how much urgency was behind my voice and questions. The Holy Spirit took my tongue and was in complete control this week. I made the comment to my friend Shannon (who was my partner both days of sharing) that I have never felt the Holy Spirit lead a conversation like the ones I had been in. Each person we talked to we let them know exactly why we were in Melbourne and how much we desperately wanted them to know and experience the abundant life of Christ. I know it sounds a bit strong... well, it was. But thankfully, God had prepared the hearts of each person and none of them reacted negatively to the Holy Spirit's work in us.

As far as fellowship went with the Aussie students we've been working alongside, it was so great. I was able to sit and talk with one of my beautiful sisters in Christ, Bella, who is so on fire for the Lord. Just listening to her heart and her desire to bring others to Christ brought so much joy to me :) I was able to hear some of her current trials and I know God will bring her out of each one victoriously. I will miss her so much and pray that we may one day see each other again :)

Our last night in Melbourne, the STINTers threw us a going away dinner at a local restaurant and invited all the Student Lifers. It was such a great time of fellowship and laughs and was followed by an incredible praise session back at our hostel. Worshipping our wonderful Lord alongside fellow brothers and sisters who I've come to love was so great :) It brought so much peace to me and all of my teammates and we all agree that we couldn't have left on a better note.

And now, we have just finished debriefing from the last 6 weeks in Cairns. We flew up Friday morning and spent all afternoon and evening on Friday as well as all day Saturday debriefing and discussing some important topics and such that is super beneficial to cover after a journey like we just experienced. Since today was our day off, we decided to take advantage of the fact that we were in Cairns and spent the entire day out on an island off the coast called Green Island. There we spent the day snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef. I know, pretty sick. It was incredible!! There will be more to come on that adventure when pictures are avaliable to help illustrate the day.

So to wrap up... it's just been a phenomenal summer and God has shown up in some mighty ways. I'm really at a loss of how to summarize all of it, so I'm just not going to. When I get home I will be sit down and process through all of my thoughts and memories and lessons learned and I encourage you to shoot me a message or find me on Facebook if you want to know more. I would love to talk about it with everyone! There's just so much to share and not enough time in the day to write about it all.

Thank you again to all of you who have been praying for me during this journey of my life. I cannot wait to tell you more of how your support helped further God's kingdom this summer!

My last prayer request is for safe travels back to the States. We fly out of Syndey on Tuesday (Aug 9) around 1pm and arrive in L.A. at 9:45am (Aug 9)... time change is going to be the death of us. I fly from L.A. to Atlanta and then finally up to Richmond. My flight, if all goes as planned, will arrive in Richmond around midnight on Aug 9th. Pray for sustaining energy and good, joyful attitudes for our hearts as we take this last long trip together.

I love you all and I can't wait to see you and hear about how God worked in and through you this summer!