The Zone.

Today has been quite different than my non-productive post from the other day. I woke up, fully energized and headed to the gym. In the process of training for the half-marathon, I'm using Hal Higdon's training schedule. Today was supposed to include a 30 minute cross. I walked in the gym...I wasn't feeling like trudging along for 30 minutes on the bike or elliptical, so I headed over to the free weights. Intervals! I turned up my "Philippians 4:13" playlist and grabbed some weights, bosu ball, and 2 steps.

Here's a sneak peak of my playlist:

Pressing On - Relient K

Like a Lion - David Crowder Band

Enough - Jeremy Camp

Awakening - Chris Tomlin

No One is Greater - Aletheia

Jesus Has Saved Us - Arisen

Glory Defined - Building 429

Starry Night - Chris August

Rise and Sing - Fee

The Saving One - Starfield

Dare You To Move - Switchfoot

Rediscover You - Starfield

Love is Here - Tenth Avenue North

That is about half of them, but I encourage you to check them out :) I tend to get so into my music that I unconsciously start singing them out loud at the gym. Today just happened to be the day that someone heard me and said something. From what I've been told about my singing voice, I'm expecting a "hey, could you stop?" or "can you keep it down?" Instead, I got a "hey! I know that song. I love Chris Tomlin!" :) I love divine appointments like that. This huge, macho weight lifting guy comes over and starts talking to me about how God had changed his life, and it all started with him hearing Christian music for the first time. We did continue our reps, but we continued the conversation as well. He had an amazing story of how he came to know the Lord. It was so encouraging to know that there are people out there who are open and EAGER to talk about their faith like he did. So yes, the gym was wonderful this morning. I'm thankful God told me to do intervals this morning instead of staring at a magazine or TV screen while I climb endlessly on the elliptical. If there were no intervals, there would've been no need for me to get "in the zone" (yes, don't joke). Without "the zone", there would've been no music for me to sing to. And then there would've been no conversation.

I left the gym this morning feeling more rejuvenated than usual :)

So I'm home now, cooled off and filled up with a nice banana chocolate smoothie for lunch. And since it's Father's Day weekend...I'm going to go conquer the yard with nothing other than the "Deere". 

I pray that each one of you ask God to give you an opportunity to talk about your faith today. I ask Him every morning during my quiet time, and sometimes I end up looking back on my day and noticing that He did in fact give me the opportunity...but it not always involves words. Being home almost all day, I find that it's hard to share my faith with well, no one. So I find ways to serve my parents and family while they are at work. That's my challenge for you today. 

Share your faith, in words or in actions, today.

Productive, Not.

Status of my day: LAZY.

I literally have done 3 productive things today.

1. Finished my little "gifts" for my future housemates.

2. Made dinner (in the crockpot)

3. Cleaned the kitchen

My "to-do" list is very disappointed in me. Fortunately for me, I am most productive between 6pm-11pm. What the rest of my day looks like:

Running with a group from my church at a local park. We're meeting at 6:15 and having a short devotional together, then running/walking on our own for 45 minutes, and coming together to close in prayer. This is new on my agenda. First attempt, actually for this training/devo sesh. Several people in my church (including myself) are running the Virginia Beach Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon in September, so this is us "training" for it. I love the idea actually, I hope it will last. 

So that's that. I'll then probably meander over to the gym (if I'm not too tired) and do a little strength training. I got a book I ordered in the mail today that I'm super excited about.

It's like Christmas morning...I can't wait to sit down tonight and look through it :)

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw up a post (and possibly add this to my productivity list). 

God did answer a prayer today which was pretty stinkin' sweet :) My support for Australia had been raised...according to me. But about 3 weeks ago, after I had sent the last of my checks in, I checked my account online and it said I was short $200. Well, that's no good. So I went back and looked through every check and every deposit. I ended up finding the problem. Two $100 checks had never been recieved at the regional office. [Insert Casey slightly freaking out here.] Oh no. I've lost their money. Not good, at all. So for the next week, I emailed back and forth with a CCC director and they said they had never recieved the checks, but they would keep looking. I got an email on Monday saying that they still haven't found the checks and that I needed to contact the people who donated and ask them to see if their checks were deposited. So that was my plan for today, making two phone calls that I really really didn't want to make. So I got up the courage (finally) and signed onto my account to get the phone numbers. I log on, and this is what I see.

Your Ministry Goal

101%

You have received $5,635 of $5,600

What?! So I look, and the checks in fact, had arrived. Wow, God :) And the best part is, I'm over my goal which means that my extra money goes to my team! 12 days left and God provides. And He's not even done yet. I have a few more support checks that I recently recieved and I'm hoping that it will greatly help my team out :)

One last praise: My best friend Emma is full of excitement. Her boyfriend, another good friend of mine, Caleb, just returned home from a month-long mission trip to Tanzania, Africa. So praise that he made it back safely and all the amazing things God used him for and praise that they will soon get to see each other :) Caleb had a blog while he was there, you should check it out. Caleb's blog

A Bowl Full

 

 My lunch :)

I've been so inspired to experiment with smoothies, and I follow pbfingers.com on a daily basis. (before you judge, you must visit. You will soon see why I thoroughly enjoy it) 

Homemade peanut butter granola + strawberry banana smoothie bowl = perfect summer day lunch

It's such a healthy, protein-packed meal :) Perfect for following a pretty intense workout at the gym.

More accomplishments of my summer day:

I purchased my first luggage set. Yes, that's right. Because in 13 days :)

The aqua green was out of stock :( So my next choice was salmon of course. Something bright and easy to identify :)

As for the rest of my day, I spent some amazing time with the Lord. I think that's what I love so much about the summer. Sitting on my deck, admiring my beautiful backyard while talking to my Father is the most wonderful feeling. With my parents at work during the day, the house is relatively quiet. I have so much time to study His word, talk to Him (out loud, mostly) and learn more about what and how He wants to do with my future. This morning I opened up to Psalm 16 and verse 5 immediately caught my eye and I somehow just couldn't get passed it.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure."

He has planned out my life. I have been assigned a certain purpose for my time here. Trying to change that will just end in disappointment and straying away from my Lord, either in anger, confusion, or even distrust. Knowing my life is securely written out to the full and nothing can change the words on that page is something God needed me to hear today. There are things in my life that I have been fighting against; things I have been desiring, trying to change and make it happen. Well, He's telling me to stop. Put down whatever I think I have to satisfy my desire and to let Him lead me. 

My challenge for you:

What are you fighting to do on your own?

Is it financial problems? A relationship? Singleness? Independence? Security?

Whatever it may be, just stop. Trust that God will take care of it. Live by His word and His word alone and He will not only pull you through, but He will lift you high on His shoulders.

Projects and such.

Wanted to share a few of my new discoveries and projects :)

These beauties were a total steal! Plato's Closet for $7. I instantly fell in love. Cannot wait to wear them :) 

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This past weekend, my folks and I headed up to Harrisonburg to work on my soon-to-be new home. The lovely Shiloh :) Here are a few shots of the painting process.

Before:

 

After:

 My cute little writing desk :) 

 Shot from the door. End of my loft bed, dresser and closet.

 Under my bed :) perfect place for a nice reading chair and a cute bookshelf :)

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Today I found a wonderful recipe for lunch...all contained in my precious JMU tumbler :)

Banana Mocha Protein Shake

 Super easy to make! Here's the recipe:

1 frozen banana

1 packet of instant coffee

1 scoop of chocolate protein powder

5-7 ice cubes

1 c cold water

Just blend it all together! If you want it thicker, just add more ice :)

It's so filling!!

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And the last new discovery...my new workout equipment. A pilates band and my 3 different resistant bands. I can do all the strength training I want with these. I work everything! Shoulders, arms, legs, back and abs.

Withholding Desires

Again, I'm am going to quote another Elisabeth Elliot book. I'm telling you, I'm hooked. I'm going to own and read every one of her books. I'm confident of that...potentially by the end of this year. I just started "Keeping a Quiet Heart." I feel like I am continually repeating myself, but it's amazing. Each one of her books have awakened a different part of my heart. This is just a little bit of what I read this morning:

"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for. 'Running aground,' then, is not the end of the world. But it helps to make the world a bit less appealing. It may even be God's answer to 'lead us not into temptation' -- the temptation complacently to settle for visible things."

This really put a lot in perspective for me. I keep thinking the more that I align my heart with God's, then our desires will align as well. But I often forget that I am still human. I still have selfish motives and wants. Even if my desires aren't selfish, maybe it is better not to ever experience them. Elisabeth makes such a great point here. We must remember we are but "aliens" here. Why are we expecting this world to satisfy us? It ultimately just won't happen. That's God's plan. He wants us to desire more...eternity with Him. There are many things in my life right now that I am desiring. They are not all selfish, but again, I am human and a few may be.

Here's a metaphor I think of it as: 

I want a cookie. A huge, freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookie. I want it bad. There's nothing wrong with that right? Except for maybe it's 6pm and I'll spoil my dinner if I have it. If I eat that cookie, I'm not going to want the delicious meal that my mom spent time preparing. I had to wait until after dinner if I wanted it. Ugh. But I want it NOW. Just a few bites. Nope. If I got it now, I wouldn't appreciate the dinner awaiting me. But if I were to wait, I would be able to fully enjoy the meal my mom made, and then I would have the option of deciding if I still wanted that cookie.

I don't know how much that makes sense by reading it, but in my head it does. If God were to give us all the desires of our hearts, then what is there to look forward to? Be patient. 

God isn't depriving us, He's preparing us.

I challenge you because God has challenged me. What are those desires that you think God are withholding from you? Picture your life with them and then ask yourself, "would I crave God the same/more/less?" He wants us to be joyful. But He also wants us to be hopeful and eagerly awaiting Him.

Sore Calfs, Joyful Heart

Relay for Life was last night and I, being the optimistic one that I thought I was, eagerly volunteered to take the 11pm-7am shift for my church. The goal as a church was to have our flag (representative) on the track for the duration of the event, aka 7pm - 9am.

Let's just say it was a lonnggg night. I got there about 9pm for the illuminating ceremony and started walking about 11:20ish. With the exception of a few 15 minute breaks, I walked. I finished off 3 cups of coffee and a couple apples throughout the process. It was cold...48 degrees. So to say the least, it wasn't exactly how I would've spent a Friday night. 

The one thing that kept me going...well two things actually. One, the reminder that cancer victims fight and struggle for long durations of their lives to survive and fight this awful disease...I should not be complaining about walking to support this fight. This time and energy sacrifice of 8 hours is nothing in comparison to what those who have this awful disease have to go through. The second thing that kept me going (other than the overload of caffeine) was being able to sit at the top of the bleachers overlooking the track and spending time with my amazing God during the sunrise.

This is what I wrote between 5:50-6:15am this morning:

Watching the sunrise after a long night of walking brings so many thoughts and feelings with it as it peeks its way over the trees.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." -2 Corinthians 4:16

As tired, sore, and exhausted as I may be...reading that verse is such a great reminder of the state in which I sit. I can see so clearly (and feel) how much I need my Lord. Not just to give me strength, but to keep me going. I wanted to just give up and sleep hours ago. But I didn't for one primary reason: to spend these few minutes with my Creator during one of the most beautiful times of the day. As I sit here, I feel how weak I am and know that I am nothing without Christ.

Life would be without purpose, without calling, without joy, beauty or hope...and most importantly, without love.

He proves His power daily, but do I prove my trust in Him just as much?

"Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?" -Job 38:12-13

The Countdown

Seeing that is June 2nd...I have 26 days until I leave for Australia. Whaaa?!?!? I know, I'm stoked too. I'm confident that each and every tough conversation, trying situation and testing of my faith that God has put me through was in preparation for this adventure to the other side of the world. 

Since my time at home is getting shorter and shorter, I figured I would compile a "to do" list before I leave.

1. Spend a day (or two) in Harrisonburg getting my room ready for my return.

    -includes: painting and furnishing

2. Substitute as many days as I can

    -reason: Australia is an expensive place and I plan on buying souvenirs :)

3. Be able to run 6 miles (without stopping)

   -reason: I registered for another half-marathon in September and an 8k 2 days after I get back

4. Visit friends

   -includes: Richmond and Charlottesville

*this next one is questionable -- it all depends on what the artist/my parents think is best*

5. Get tatted

   -what: "I Will Go" written in Greek on the outside of my foot

   -why: great ministering tool, and it's my passion

So there you have it. My "to do" list for the next 26 days. Will they all be completed? I sure hope so. I'm not a person who leaves a list of things without everything being crossed off.

Be praying for Australia. It's been a long journey of calling, prayer, support and trust, not just for me but for my entire team. God is going to do some incredible things in the hearts of those Aussie students this summer :) Just pray that we have the diligence, patience, and wisdom to rely solely on the wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit inside of us.

Ponder As You Will

Since I've been home, I've been blessed to have been meeting once a week with 2 incredible women. One of which I look to as my biggest role model. The other, one of my best friends as well as my cousin. We met this morning and we ended praying for each other and tears were slowly tickling my cheeks. These women really make me think. Today we looked at Deborah in the book of Judges. What a wonderful and incredibly solid woman! I would recommend any woman to look and study the little we know of Deborah. She may only be mentioned in 2 chapters in the entire Bible, but there is some amazing insight you can gain from learning about who she was. This morning left me pondering a question that I would like to challenge others as well:

"Lord, how do I use my strengths in ways that bring a smile to Your face?"

A quote that I really loved was in our lesson this morning that was really powerful in getting the point across.

"God can used your personal strengths, as well as your role in the home and/or business place, to build unity and point others to Him. Welcome Him to use you for His purposes."

And my favorite from this morning, was actually quoting another huge role model in my life.

"Look for your passions and look at your gifts. Match them up and serve there." -Alan DeFriese

Counting Everything as a Loss

I'm hooked. Elisabeth Elliot is not just an amazing role model or a wonderful writer. She's one of the most passionate women I've ever known there to be for Christ. Passion and Purity is now my current read of hers and can I just say...wow.

"When the will of God crosses the will of man," Addison Leitch said, "somebody has to die." Life requires countless "little" deaths -- occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God. It is not that everything that has anything to do with ourselves is in itself wicked and deserving of death. It did not mean that when Jesus said, "Not my will..." There could not have been even the smallest part of His will that was wicked. It was a choice to lay down everything -- the good He had done and the good He might do if He was permitted to live -- for the love of God. The same choice is offered to us. 

There is a big however. It is this: We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God could not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath of life. We die in order to live.

This reminds me of the verse in Luke that I memorized this past semester... "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it." Whether we think we're doing something good or righteous is irrelevant. Following God's will is the only option for us to be equally yoked with Christs' desires. As hard as it may be, it will produce the most fruitful of all results.

A Must Read

Through Gates of Splendor...left me speechless. The courage, devotion and steadfast trust that was seen in the lives of these 5 missionaries and their wives is something that sends chills down my body. The sacrifice, the submission, the selflessness, the sureness, the sole purpose of each of those men is all based on one thing: the Gospel. Because I want you to read it, I'm not going to say much more except that it is truly a perspective-changing book, one that makes your problems seem so petty and opens your eyes to the desperation of the Gospel.

The book began with Jim quoting Hebrews 13:5 as he wrote in his journal..."I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." I may boldy say, "I will not fear..."

And the book ended with these words found in his diary, "O Jesus, Master and Center and End of all, how long before that Glory is thine which has so long waited Thee? Now there is no thought of Thee among men; then there shall be thought for nothing else. Now other men are praised; then none shall care for any other's merits. Hasten, hasten, Glory of Heaven, take Thy crown, subdue Thy Kingdom, enthrall Thy creatures."

Elisabeth Elliot is truly a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman who sits completely content in the knowledge of Christ. A woman who is not shaken by the tragedies of this world, but instead rejoices in her Lord. A woman who has seen what our Father is capable of. A woman I greatly look up to.

Read it.

Here Am I, Lord

My perspective of life has changed drastically over the last year. Over the past 6 months, I have been prayerfully considering what God is preparing me for. Why occupational therapy? Why Australia? Why the immense amount of trials I faced last summer? Why He's presenting me with ministry opportunities in a church I thought was a lost cause? Why He has changed the hearts of my parents? 

I spoke in church this morning about the opportunity God has given me to serve in Australia for Him this summer. I told my church why I was going and what I will be doing. I had no idea what I was going to say. No notes, no organized thought process whatsoever. I got up in front of the microphone, and that was the end of me. God completely took over. As the words were coming out of my mouth, my eyes were scanning the congregation. I saw smiles and head nods. And afterward, I was greeted with joy and such appreciation. Having the love and support of your church family brings such excitement to my heart. Knowing I will be prayed for while I'm in Australia is one of the biggest comforts I could ask for. God has changed my life around over the last year. He's shown me what it truly looks and feels like to live for Him. 

Back to praying about what my future may look like...because of all the things that God has exposed to me, using my desire to be an occupational therapist for His glory has been thought about quite a lot lately. It's still early to know His plans (if in fact I will ever know His plan), but using occupational therapy and taking it to a third-world country to help further His kingdom, aka medical missions have been a prevalent thought and prayer.

This morning I talked about my desire to reach those who have yet to hear the best news ever told; my desire to play my part in the Great Commission; my desire to give up my life for the sake of others. And you know how God responded? By having this as the closing hymn to the service this morning.

I, the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin ,My hand will save.
I who made the stars of night, I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear my light to them? Whom shall I send? 

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain, I have borne my people's pain.
I have wept for love of them. They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone, give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak my Word to them. Whom shall I send?

I the Lord of wind and flame, I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them. My hand will save.
Finest bread I will provide Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give my life to them. Whom shall I send?
 

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

He hears us...and He most definitely will answer us. I'm not saying that I got my answer from singing a hymn this morning. But I do know that He is slowly filling in the blanks to this story of my life. Not giving away too much, but allowing me to know enough in order to continue coming to Him in prayer, in trust and in comfort.

A Mask

Most of us often have trouble admitting that we're scared. Our culture has trained us differently. Never show pain. Rub some dirt in it. Shake it off. Be a man. Put some pants on. 

We've all been told something of the sort throughout our life. Fear is weak, and being weak is bad...says the world.

Having a weakness is hard. I would know because I possess plenty of them. And I always find myself trying whatever it takes to compensate for those weaknesses, cover them up, and act like nothing's wrong. But the truth is, there is. Behind that mask that I frequently try to wear, there's weakness. It's something I don't want to talk about, not even with my closest friends. Why? Because Satan loves to fill my head with lies to make me think that I'm the only one with this weakness and no one will understand. Tonight, that lie was defeated. Tonight a prayer was answered. Tonight, an amazing door of hope was opened. I found a dear friend with a similar weakness. God blessed me with a sister than can encourage me, that can pray for me, and one that knows the feelings I express. 

God has been such a stronghold for me over the past year while I've dealt with this weakness, and I know He will continue to be. Isaiah 40 has become one of my favorite passages. It tells me that my God is in absolute control of my life. Every single detail. He shows me how fleshy and finite of a person I am and then shows me how eternal and sovereign He is. He knew about this weakness, He allowed it to happen, and He's waiting on me to let Him use it to prove to me His strength.

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." (v6-8)

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basked, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?" (v11-14)

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing."(v26)

"The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (v28-31)

Don't let the world win. Stop brushing the weakness under the rug. Getting rid of it will only come when you face it and give it up to God. Only then can He use it for His glory.

Eager and Dreaming

These last two weeks have been sooo busy. Studying for finals, taking finals, packing, driving, unpacking. It's been quite an adventure. I'm not even sure what to post about tonight. I don't see it necessary talking about my past two weeks...they're over and done. Maybe this summer? We'll go with that.

Where to start...so far my summer has included unpacking and reorganizing my room/house, spending time with some dearly missed people, substituting as a kindergarten teacher two days this week, and now I'm currently in the process of packing once again to head to the beach with some of my future housemates :) So it's been pretty busy.

Even though all of these things are going on, Australia is still in the forefront of my mind...and I'm hoping that's a good thing. I leave June 29th, a little less than a month and a half. I noticed that I haven't posted about Australia except for when I got accepted to be a part of the team. Not sure how that happened, especially since this trip is one of the main things I've been thinking and praying about since February. So...Australia. The "land down under," known for it's kangaroos, accents, and disgusting Vegemite. A place that is swarming with so much potential (for the gospel). The home of Melbourne, a city full of people who have never even heard of the name Jesus. A location that deserves to be reached, and a home to a team of eager college students for 6 weeks.

Next subject: The team. One word can describe it...awesome. I have never met a group of people and found myself connecting with them so well like I did with my amazing team. Each person has something unique they bring to our team. I seriously cannot wait to spend 6 weeks encouraging, loving and ministering alongside these fine folks.

Having Australia on my mind triggers other thoughts about my future. Ever since January, God has placed missions on my heart. Missions as in not just going on summer project, but making it my career. The more I have been praying about it, the more joy I find in the thought of spending the rest of my life traveling the world in hope that God will use me in a similar way that He used Paul. As a team, we're reading "Through Gates of Splendor" by Elisabeth Elliot and this book has truly opened my eyes to possible future endeavors for me. I've always been passionate about the medical field, and knowing that God has put occupational therapy on my heart for a reason makes medical missions look that much more exciting.

Substitute teaching, eagerly awaiting June 19th, and dreaming of medical missions. 

My current life story.

Recap

Last day of classes. Last CRU of the semester (last night). Last weekend living on campus. Last bible study with Laura Ward and the girls (this past Tuesday). Saying goodbye to the Flynn's and the Flacks. Saying goodbye to Huffman Hall. Saying goodbye to the amazing seniors. 

This has all either happened or will be happening this weekend. The last, saying goodbyes, endings...it's bittersweet. All endings bring new beginnings. Big things are going to happen at JMU through Campus Crusade, even more than what has already happened. God isn't surprised by any of this. He timed this all perfectly, and He is going to show up in some mighty ways. As students (and staff), we have to be open and willing to His plan and be prepared to be used by Him in any way we see Him calling us. Crusade is going to be taking some big leaps of faith, Crusade is going to be relying solely on God. Whatever fall we may take during it all, we can be assured that He will be there to catch us.

It has been a great year. A year of tremendous growth in my walk with Jesus, a year of new opportunities, a year of new roles in the body of Christ, a year of being blessed to share His name overseas this summer, a year of securing relationships and mending others. It's been a true blessing to see God work in my life in the last 9 months.

Bound No More

Psalm 22. 

A prophecy. A true story. A sacrifice. A saving grace.

We don't deserve it. 

We should be be mocked. We should be insulted. We should be torn apart by the lions. All of our bones should be out of joint and we should be able to count each one. We should be thirsty. We should be surrounded by a band of evil. Our hands and feet should be pierced. Up on that cross...it should have been us.

But it wasn't. That's the beauty of today. We are worthless sinners who deserve this kind of punishment. But God didn't want that. He wanted us to know Him, to walk alongside of Him in heaven. So He sent His son, Jesus. A perfect man, the greatest man that ever walked this earth...put Himself on that cross. 

He lived to die so we can live eternally. 

He was crucified, put to death in the most painful way known to man. He was put in a tomb, assuming it would constrain Him. The third day...He showed otherwise. He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of God. That death and that resurrection covered our sins, so that when God wants to call us home, we too will join Jesus at the right hand of our Father.

That's the beauty of the gospel. It shouldn't just be remembered on a day like today. It should be made fresh to us on a daily basis. Easter is quite the holiday...chocolate bunnies, dyed eggs, pretty sundresses, and family meals. But what we cannot forget is how are chains have been removed. How we are no longer bound by Satan, but instead freed by our Savior. 

He gave us life, so let's give Him ours.

Happy Easter :)

The Pieces Fall Into Place

This morning at Aletheia was God leading me right to the answers of my prayers these last few weeks. I want to know His love, I mean really know it. The words on the pages are one thing, but it's not until those words are read in my heart that I truly embrace every detail. This morning, that's what happened. Paul took us to the story of Nicodemus this morning in John 3. Every time I heard the name Nicodemus this morning, I could replace my name with his and find the statement to be true. This especially...

"Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." -John 3:2

By reading and hearing about Jesus for the majority of my life, I know that He is a great teacher, that He was an extraordinary man. But that's when there's more to it. Satan himself knew Jesus was an extraordinary man. It's knowing what's not seen externally that really mattered to Jesus. His miracles, His parables...they were all wonderful and full of so much Truth. But what Jesus wants us to know is, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." -verse 3

Knowing that Jesus was amazing is one thing, but it's knowing why that's worth His blood. This is something I have been praying to see...why Jesus came, why He loved us so much, why He did the things He did while He walked on this earth. Understanding that will allow me to fully live out the life God has planned for me: loving people like Jesus loved, serving like Jesus served, sacrificing like Jesus sacrificed, and trusting like Jesus trusted. It's all one big puzzle, once you get the outside border figured out...all the inside pieces are so much easier to fit into place. 

I really liked this quote Paul said this morning about the Holy Spirit...

"we won't always see the path, but we always see the evidence."

God's plan for our lives may been invisible to us right now, but each step we take we can look back and be guaranteed that we see the footprint of Him right behind us.

Sophomoritis?

When things get hard, our first instincts is to run and hide...to just give up. Giving up admits defeat, timidity, the lack of trust.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9

God rejoices in the people who are willing to go all the way for Him. 

It's easy to quit; it takes faith to follow through.

This has really been something God has put on my heart lately. With only 3 weeks left in the semester, my classes are squeezing me for all I have left. Professors are cramming the last of the material, assigning last minute assignments,etc. And what do I want to do? Give up. But the worst thing about it is that I'm using God as an excuse. Instead of putting time into my classes and following through with the task He has set before me as a student, I use the line, "if God wants me to pass, He'll provide the knowledge I need." Now, that is Truth in itself, but not in the way I'm using it. I'm using Him as an excuse not to do my work. That not only shows laziness, but selfishness too. Laziness in the fact that He is giving me ample time to complete the work for my classes, but I'm choosing that time to do other things. Selfishness is seen because I'm putting my desires over that of my priorities. I'm spending time doing what I want to be doing instead of what I should be doing. 

So there you have it. Some call this "spring at JMU," seniors title it "senioritis," but in my case it's the simple fact that I'm giving up on a task God clearly wants me to do well at...not for my sake, but for His glory.

My Attempt at Being Domestic.

 I tried it. And I'm pretty pleased with the results :)

Voila! Fabric Flower Headbands

Peaches and Mangoes

So I did it. I bought it, and I burnt it. I'm a rebel. The smell of it sitting next to me as I stare at my computer or color-code my notes in my notebook is so relaxing. It gets me in the mood for summer. It adds a homey sense to these white-washed walls. It effectively mixes my two favorite fruits into an aroma that I would picture Heaven to smell like.And the best part is, it was only $1.

That's right. My new Peach and Mango candle :)

To help make more sense of the whole "rebel" title, I live in a dorm...therefore candles are a no-no.

Pretty pitiful that this is one of the highlights of my day. Though the aroma of this amazing little glass jar of wax may give me such a simple joy, I experienced another joy today as well. This one, I would say, couldn't quite be contained in a 3 oz. container.

If you weren't privileged to spend a few minutes outside today, let me just tell you that you missed out. Having class until 3:15 was a little sad, seeing that I only had about 2 hours to soak up this spring sensation. Laying under my designated tree located behind Huffman is where I had one of the best times with God I've had in a long time. I feel like I've been pretty open for the most part on my blog, so sharing a part of my time with Jesus will be okay. Understanding God's love is something I thought I had figured out. I mean that I have accepted it, read about, thanked Him for it, etc. and I've been spending time working on pruning other parts of my life. But what I realized today is I have been taking this free love for granted. 

This is some of what I journaled today...

It's so easy for the concept of love to get blurry when one looks at the world. Love is said in the spur of a moment, love is shown in immoral ways, and love is taking on the same definition as lust. Living in this world, no wonder no one knows what love is supposed to look like. That's where God steps in. He uses Christians to reflect this love that has been torn apart by the world. 

[Insert sentence on how I've shown God's love here.]

And that's where I stop. Hit a brick wall. I can't insert a sentence. I haven't been the mirror God is expecting me to be as His disciple. Loving is hard, at least for me. Satan has used this world to distract me and put "strongholds" in my mind, which in turn control my thoughts and ultimately, control my actions. And that's when He showed me...I haven't embraced and understood His love for me at the level of understanding that I'm capable of. God's love is pure, it's sincere, it's real, it's sacrificial. 

My main task: Falling madly in love with God...DAILY.

Reading this may make you think, "how is she living for God if she's not loving others?" And that's a great question. I want to rephrase my struggle...I'm not loving others as effectively as I should. There it is. And in order for me to do that, I have to understand what true love looks like and what it's made of. And the only way to do that is to continue to learn more and more about God on a daily basis. The more we learn, the more we love. The more we love, the bigger He gets. The bigger He gets, the smaller we become.

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:4-5

So I challenge you, find out your weakness, your struggle. Don't try to fight it, fix it, or even replace it using the "weapons" of this world. The only weapon that will defeat a spiritual enemy is God's Word. Check it out.

Weakend.

This weekend hit both ends of the spectrum for sure. Roadtripping to Westchester, Pa with Tiff, Genvieve, Erin, and Shannon Marie on Friday included some great conversations, enjoying the voice of our Aussie GPS, and deciding that studying in the car wasn't possible. Saturday was busy. Busy as in there was one break from 3-3:15...haha. But on top of being busy, it was one of the best bonding experiences ever :) I spent give or take 15 hours with my family for the summer (aka my Australia team). Each and every person God has placed on this team has a unique quality/gift that is going to be used so effectively this summer, and I am blessed to say that I get to watch God use them as well as minister alongside of them. Staying up til midnight talking about the amazing things God has done in our lives was such a great glimpse of the awesome conversations to come :)

Sunday, on the other hand...was the other end of the spectrum I referred to. I woke up to Shannon sick as a pup (details will be refrained). And I soon followed... We spent the day together lying in bed from 9am til about 6pm. My first thought would be it was an awful day...but I can't say that. Because well, one, Shannon and I had quite a unique bonding experience to say the least. 

the campground where we stayed

we stayed in the one on the far left...all 6 of us :)

the larger cabins shannon and I spent Sunday in

The ride back wasn't the same without the beautiful Shannon, but blasting Disney music for 4 hours and driving through an amazing lightning storm was pretty awesome.

The cherry on top of this weekend was the Anatomy that followed it. Being completely busy all day Saturday and completely sick all day Sunday...left me no time to study. But this is where God is the man...I took advantage of my professor's office hours Thursday and Friday and have been doing well in lab over the past few weeks. So with only 4 hours to study today before my test, I knew only God would be able to get me through this one. 4 hours may seem like plenty of time to pull off a B or C in most classes, but anatomy is slightly different. Memorizing doesn't quite work...so studying daily is very much encouraged. 

So, here I am. Sitting on my couch, relaxing after a run...feeling confident about my test, excited about my summer, and blessed that I have a God who provides :)

The weather probably played a role in my good mood today as well...