Finally Realizing.

There's a point in life where it's all out of our control. That point should be evident as soon as we ask Jesus to become our Lord. But unfortunately, this element of control never ceases to leave us, even as Christians. God has convicted me so much of this. But it's weird, because I give God more control of the things that I should take more control over and then I turn around and try to control the things I know I have no chance of being able to change.  This even confuses me and I have yet to understand why I decide to work this way. Nevertheless, I continue to learn how incapable I am to control most situations God puts in front of me. If you know me at all (or any women in my family), you know that we have a knack for liking to control just about every situation we are in or presented with. This is a great example of the role reversal that came with the Fall...women become overactive and lose their submissiveness. Guilty.

Looking at my past post, I'm always saying that "so-and-so" is currently going on in my life, or God is convicting me of "x". And I think, "goodness, God must see a lot that needs work in my life because each one of my posts is about something new." This topic I'm writing about today is intertwined with some past posts, so it's not a completely new situation...in fact, it has been a long and ongoing one. But regardless of the duration, God is constantly bringing new things to the surface for me to see. This situation has become completely clear to me this weekend. I have been trying/feeling obligated to fix this. Fixing it by showing God's love, by speaking the truth of His Word, by serving. By doing this, I'm showing my desire of control. I want to do it and I want results to show themselves.

So I took a little break writing this, and by break I mean church. I started this post at about 8am this morning and had to leave for church at 8:45...so now, here I am riding in the car heading home at 1pm finishing it. During this gap in time, God revealed even more to me about this control problem I seem to have. This morning I attended a small coffee house church and was able to hear the last of 4 sermons in a series they had been working through titled "Saturate." Today, the focus was centered around Joy. Something I feel that I've been missing lately. This morning's message not only answered my question as to where my joy is, but it also made it crystal clear as to how to obtain that joy that I have currently misplaced. There were 4 points in Philippians that show us where we find our joy.

1. Joy is found in unity (v.1-3)

2. Joy is found in God's peace (v.4-7)

3. Joy is found in contentment (v.10-12)

4. Joy is found in trusting God (v.14-23)

Two guesses as to which one answered my question? At the end of the message this morning, the pastor asked each question individually...Are you finding joy in unity? In God's peace? In contentment? In trusting Him? The first 3 I felt the Holy Spirit pretty confidently allowing me to nod my head. But I just couldn't do it to the 4th one. Why? Because I'm trying to control these situations in my life and I'm not allowing God to fulfill the promise that He made with me.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Phil 4:19

The pastor this morning ended with a quote that was such a good reminder that even as Christians, we still struggle. In some cases, even more than we realize. I was challenged to completely trust God this morning. I've been challenged before and it's not the first time I've heard a message about trusting God completely. But this weekend, I not only heard it preached...I experienced it first hand. God, You've got my attention...now teach me to change.

"Most Christians are being crucified daily because of 2 things: either yesterday's regret or tomorrow's worry."

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Phil 4:6