Sunday's Journal Entry

I know I posted earlier today, but I thought I'd quickly share what my journal holds for Jan. 29, 2012:

"This morning at Aletheia, Rob Stephens made such an awesome point in regards to trials. God pushes us to produce perseverence. He allows pain so that our joy is more abundant in the end. Training for this half-marathon is getting hard. 6 miles is just about the half way point and it's tough to make yourself run that distance. But knowing that if I run and deal with the pain and difficulty, the finish line of the race will be that much more enjoyable. Just writing and meditating on the end results gives me motivation to go run (something I didn't want to do AT ALL before writing this). In my mind, I often find myself making excuses to put off training. But looking at it on the large scale, that is only hurting me, and the harder it will be to cross that finish line on April 22nd.

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:4

Crossing the finish line knowing I could've done more would be so disappointing. In the same way, Christ urges me to full out for His kingdom so on the day I see Him face to face, I won't wish that I should have done more.

Run with purpose, passion and a desire to persevere. 6 mile run...bring it."

Rough Week.

The results of giving a situation to God are incredible. This past week was a hard one for me. An incident occurred that had me angry, crying, doubting and feeling completely isolated. Responding to it in a "fleshy" way would've made this already rough situation completely destructive. Instead, I prayed. I literally cried out to the Lord in my bedroom on Wednesday night. I'm not sure how long I was on my knees to Him. But when I crawled into bed that night, there was a sense of peace, knowing that I was bearing the yoke of the Lord, one that was easy and light. Granted, the pain and sin didn't just disappear overnight. I faced major spiritual attack all day Thursday and Friday until the situation was resolved. I knew that this situation was in desperate need of healing, and who better to heal than God himself? I knew I couldn't do it. My sin would corrupt my thoughts, motives and speech and would break God's heart. I asked Him Wednesday night to let the Spirit consume my thoughts and my heart. However this situation was to play out, I wanted God to be glorified. 

When the time came to face the situation, God worked. He healed my hurt, He mended the brokenness, He clarified the confusion. He worked through me and in the situation to bring glory to Himself, and He did so with such beautiful grace.

What I learned from all of this: Glorifying God through hard situations will bring joy that is in no way possible if I were to try to fix it on my own.

Keeping my mind set on how best to keep Christ in the spotlight was what it took, but the joy I feel now and the revelation of His Sovereignty are fully present in my heart.

Thank you Jesus, for the Holy Spirit. Guidance, direction, conviction, and motivation...none of which I would've had without that precious gift. And this precious gift of having Jesus with me always would never have happened if He hadn't have died for me. The death on the cross would've never occurred if God didn't love us enough to send His One and only Son. 

I not only felt the Holy Spirit and witnessed It's  power, I was also reminded of the Trinity and the absolute necessity of it. Thank you Father, Spirit, and Son for giving me a grace so undeserving.

Here are some lyrics from a song that a band here in Harrisonburg, Va (Aletheia) that summarizes all that I've felt this week:

Grace undeserving

Though You were angry

Your anger turned away from us

Our great God

You showed Your love

That while we hated You, You died for us

You demanded blood for my mistakes

Though my own, You did not take

At the cross, You bore what was for me

There they kissed, righteousness and peace

Oh Christ, You humbled Yourself

Became sin for us

And made us alive in You

A Response Proves Value

My response to God is the result of His value to me.

Sleeping in for those 15 extra minutes instead of getting up to read His Word.

Spending pointless time on Pinterest instead of praying.

Having coffee with close friends (or by myself) instead of being intentional about sharing Jesus with a non-believing friend.

Feeling obligated to take on certain tasks instead of delighting in them.

Being asked to clean the dishes instead of serving my housemates.

I'm guilty of each of these.

"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows." -Job 22:21,22,27

Submitting to God means being obedient to His Word. Obedience is taking the initiative with those on campus instead of sipping coffee in the corner of Starbucks with my nose in a book.

Accepting instruction means listening to the Lord. Listening takes patience and quiet time spent with Him in prayer instead of pinning DIY on Pinterest.

Storing up His Words in my heart means reading. Reading means getting up an extra 30 minutes if that's what it takes to find time.

What does the Lord mean to me? Actions produce the answer.

...Convicted. But conviction never goes without repentance. Repentance always ends with remembering the cross. Seeing the cross brings me back to my brokenness and my need for Jesus. And His saving grace brings so much peace to my heart.

Flooded with His Care

I went on a run this afternoon with one of my housemates. We met at our university gym at 4pm to begin our 3.5 mile run around campus. It had gotten pretty cloudy throughout the afternoon, but the forecast was only predicting a 45% chance of rain last time I had checked. The first half of our run was great (granted the majority was all uphill). It wasn't until we got to an intersection with a Hardee's sitting on the corner when I became slightly uncomfortable. Running for about 20 minutes (uphill mostly), I all of a sudden get a huge whiff of fried food. The smell repulsed me. In that instant all I wanted was a big glass of water. I know, my thinking is a little weird, but I was convinced that would help this awful feeling that suddenly came over me. And then it came. The thought hadn't even left my mind when I felt it. I was staring at the hardest part of our run, the .25 miles of a pretty intense incline and He did it. The first drops were slow, but by the time I got half way up the incline, the sidewalk had changed color. The coldness made us run faster. Only half a mile left and we practically sprinted. We end in a tunnel that runs through our campus. And I watched it. He sent the rain. 

You're probably thinking, what the heck are getting at? Again, my thinking is a bit scattered and I know I read into the most infinitesimal things. But to me, it was God caring about me. He knew that the smell of those grease-covered burgers and fries were hindering my run and He fixed it. He brought the rain. He made me forget about the smell and made me run faster for the last mile than I normally would have. He got rid of my hindrance and then did exactly what I needed to finish strong. This is a huge stretch of symbolism...I know. 

A helping hand perfectly timed and not always noticed until we stop and process.

Call me crazy, but I call it Jesus.

Encouraged

This weekend has been full of  listening, absorbing, meditating, evaluating and applying lots of information and Truth. I attended 2 different retreats in a matter of 72 hours and was given a lot to think about. 

 I'm excited about this responsibility of ministry that the Lord has let me be a part of. Meeting with women on a regular basis who love Jesus and who are leading other women into closer, more intimate relationships with their Groom is going to be such a rewarding responsibility. I get to care for them, to encourage them, to pray for them, to help them, and more importantly, to love them. This is a ministry that I have always been passionate about and could easily seeing myself doing the rest of my life.

As I sit in a local coffee shop at 7pm on a Monday night, thinking about all that I heard and experienced this weekend...I'm encouraged.

Raindrops

9 hours until the Cru leadership retreat for the semester, and here I am, awake thinking about my vision for the small groups. I've spent most of the evening reading articles, journaling and praying about what it looks like to be a disciple. I ask myself, "What do I want to see this semester? What can be changed? Why are there small group leaders with no one to lead?" God likes when we figure things out. And we only do that when we search for the answer with Him, otherwise things make no sense.

I came to this conclusion: Jesus must have our hearts in order for us to lead others to Him. 

"This is why Cru exists. Cru is not a movement of fellowship and worship. Cru is not a movement of small groups and parties. We like to worship, fellowship, have parties, etc. But Cru is about evangelism and discipleship." -Roger Hershey

Is this true of Cru at JMU? Do we have this mindset? I'm guilty of being caught up in the fellowship and worship and parties. I easily forget that God didn't create Cru so that Christians can find a "safe haven" when they get to college. He most certainly didn't mean for us to seclude ourselves because of it. He wants to use the people that compose it. He calls us to encourage, admonish, and teach. He wants us to train others to fight for His army. A ripple effect. One raindrop can cause the still surface of water to completely change. One student can impact several others lives and in turn, they can impact others. 

An entry from my journal earlier today:

"The only way change can happen is if our understanding (as student leaders) is confirmed. First, our hearts must be right with the Lord. Then, we should delight in opportunity to serve and teach. From there, we listen to the Lord, love those who we're pouring into, and train them the way Jesus trained the twelve, through fellowship, scripture, and ministry."

This year, Cru has challenged the students to memorize scripture each week (Fighter Verses). Most people are memorizing the set for 2011...but I decided to do 2012. This week's scripture couldn't have been more perfect in preparing my heart and mind for this retreat tomorrow (which is now 8 hours away) as well as the rest of the semester.

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" -Romans 10:13-15

Without proper preaching, no one will hear. Without hearing, no one can believe. Not believing leads to silence. Silence in a way that no one sees their need for a Savior. There will be no repentance or crying out. There will be silence. Cru was meant to harvest people and send.

Send. Preach. Hear. Believe. Call

The importance of discipleship is hard to explain in these few paragraphs, but what I do know is that it's absolutely necessary for God's Word to reach our campus, to reach the world. 

Discipleship...it's what we were made for.

Crossing it for the Crown

Just registered for my first half-marathon of the year.

The Flying Pirate Half Marathon in the Outer Banks. 

I printed out some blank calendars for January, February, March and April and made my training schedule :) Super stoked to train for this one.

I have found so much joy in running. It's amazing time to talk to the Lord, worship Him, and think through life and all its many events. Running a race is a popular metaphor seen several places in the New Testament. Training for such an intense distance is the same as running the race of life...humbling, difficult, painful at times...but the feeling of crossing the finish line is the most rewarding thing you'll ever experience. Sometimes when I run, I compare my current situation (uphill climb, pain in my knees from going downhill, level-ground, steps, crossing crosswalks...you get the picture) to what that could represent in my life and "run" with the Lord. It's an awesome thing to think through and meditate on.

Here are some of the verses I have that keep me going. I recorded myself reading them and then put them randomly in my running playlist...they always seem to play right when I need to hear them. Coincidence? Hah...try having a God that knows exactly what you need and exactly when you need it.

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim to is finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." -Acts 20:24

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." -1 Corinthians 9:24-27

"And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain." -Philippians 2:16

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing out eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." -Hebrews 12:1-2

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." -Hebrews 12:11-12

Divine Intervention.

God answered a prayer this morning. For the past few weeks I felt like I was just going through the motions of my faith. Quiet times were good, but I was never walking away extremely joyful or excited. Church gave a good message, but I never felt it hitting home. Spiritual conversations over break happened, but there was no flame inside burning with desire to show the fullness of God.

My relationship with the Lord has been very shallow and my prayer was/is that He would change this, to get me excited and passionate again about Him.

 We started a new series at Aletheia this morning called Divine Intervention, reading and studying Psalm 107. One of the first sentences out of Pastor Paul's mouth was the cue from God saying, "Casey, here's you're answer."

"Psalm 107 is not describing God as the Creator, it's describing who God is to us."

That was it. That's when God revealed why our relationship has been so nonexistent. I was trying to study and know God as the great and powerful Ruler and King. I was reading the Bible and trying to understand God through others (which is great, but not what I needed right now). I realized I was trying to learn about the Almighty God, the Creator instead of becoming intimate with God, the One who saved me.

Focusing on what He has done in my life and with my heart is when I will notice His abounding love for me that verse 1 proclaims. How He has shaped my heart, my aspirations...How He saved someone who was such a wretched sinner like me, doomed for Hell. THAT is the God I want to grow more intimate with. That is what I want to focus on in my time with Him. The more that I realize I need Him, the more I want others to see their need for Him. The more aware I am of His power in my life, the more genuine I can be when helping others through struggles and confusions.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story -- those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south." -Psalm 107:1-3

This praise that David is talking about is praise in a way that points others to His greatness. This thanks is for receiving something that we have longed for. That is the response God deserves from us, and it can only be true when we realize how much we need Him and how much He's done for us.

Friday Night Tunes.

Love this band.

Currently listening to "God & King".

Desperately I seek You
Desperately I long for Your face
Desperately I seek You
Come now with Your comforting warm embrace

The mountains are rising
The oceans are churning
The people are singing
We are awaiting
For Your glorious return

Holy Holy are You
Who lives in this place
Holy Holy are You
The Truth and the Way
Holy Holy is He
Who lives in me
Holy Holy are You
Our God and King

Desperately I seek You
Desperately I long for Your face
Desperately I seek You
Come now with Your comforting warm embrace

The mountains are rising
The oceans are churning
The people are singing
We are awaiting
For Your glorious return

Holy Holy are You
Who lives in this place
Holy Holy are You
The Truth and the Way
Holy Holy is He
Who lives in me
Holy Holy are You
Our God and King

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty

Running, Reading and Budgeting in 2012

I'm not the biggest fan of the word "resolution," but I did make some 2012 goals.

-Run 2 half-marathons (in May and September)

-Read through the Bible

-Stick to my new budget

-Read 12 books 

The only people might say "woah" to would be the running, but since I ran a half-marathon this past September and know I'm capable of doing it, I wanted to push myself to do two this year. Once I train for the first one, the second one shouldn't be as hard as long as I keep running in between.

This past year, I read through Psalms and Proverbs and loved that. So this year I wanted to read the entire thing :)

One of my dear friends helped me put together a budget at the end of November and I'm going to try as best as possible to stick to it so I come out at the end of this year with some savings!

And reading...I'm pretty sure this will happen and it won't be too much of a challenge. I've already read one book this year (Mockingjay from The Hunger Games trilogy) and I'm working on number two now.

So there you have it, my goals for 2012.

Castaway, not the movie.

This was a blind download on my part.

Yesterday I was downloading some new songs to run to and after buying some, this was a "recommendation." Without even previewing it, I clicked the 'buy' button. When I was running yesterday, this song came on and I can honestly say my speed increased. This song got me so pumped and happy at the same time. I love the lyrics. My past is proof that God's gift of a second chance in my life is something that means everything to me. Love this song. You should download it :)

20eleven.

Eleven highlights of 2011 (not in any specific order):

11. My surprise birthday party

10. Moving into Shiloh

9. Shiloh Christmas Party

8. Getting a job

7. Heather got engaged

6. Bailey

5. Emma got engaged

4. Myrtle Beach

3. Lindsay

2. Half-Marathon

1. Australia

 This year has been quite a year. Snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, spending a week at Myrtle Beach with some of my best friends, seeing two people who mean so much to me get engaged, having my 'own' house, running 13.1 miles, and Bailey was added to our family :)

Not only was this year one of the most eventful, it was one of the most difficult. I lost someone who I called my brother. Someone I grew up doing everything with. Someone who knew just how to pluck my nerve, but at the same time knew exactly how to tell me what I needed to hear. The last 5 months without him have been a roller coaster of emotions. Sadness, guilt, anger, peace. It hit us so hard and so sudden. I've never experienced something so painful. But I have also never experienced something where I felt God more present. He wrapped His arms around me like I have never been embraced. He brought my family together in a way I never thought would happen. He helped me work through my doubt and fear and blessed me with peace and understanding. So much has resulted from his death. A child down in Alabama accepted Jesus after hearing his story; an entire town was able to hear the gospel at his funeral; a half-marathon and a 5-k was run for him; eyes have been open to the uncertainty of life and the urgency of salvation; and my love for the Lord has been amplified.

Hunter Scott Liebold, I love you.

God's going to do something big in 2012. A post will come later tonight that...

but for now, goodbye 2011...hello 2012.