A Mask

Most of us often have trouble admitting that we're scared. Our culture has trained us differently. Never show pain. Rub some dirt in it. Shake it off. Be a man. Put some pants on. 

We've all been told something of the sort throughout our life. Fear is weak, and being weak is bad...says the world.

Having a weakness is hard. I would know because I possess plenty of them. And I always find myself trying whatever it takes to compensate for those weaknesses, cover them up, and act like nothing's wrong. But the truth is, there is. Behind that mask that I frequently try to wear, there's weakness. It's something I don't want to talk about, not even with my closest friends. Why? Because Satan loves to fill my head with lies to make me think that I'm the only one with this weakness and no one will understand. Tonight, that lie was defeated. Tonight a prayer was answered. Tonight, an amazing door of hope was opened. I found a dear friend with a similar weakness. God blessed me with a sister than can encourage me, that can pray for me, and one that knows the feelings I express. 

God has been such a stronghold for me over the past year while I've dealt with this weakness, and I know He will continue to be. Isaiah 40 has become one of my favorite passages. It tells me that my God is in absolute control of my life. Every single detail. He shows me how fleshy and finite of a person I am and then shows me how eternal and sovereign He is. He knew about this weakness, He allowed it to happen, and He's waiting on me to let Him use it to prove to me His strength.

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." (v6-8)

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basked, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?" (v11-14)

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing."(v26)

"The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (v28-31)

Don't let the world win. Stop brushing the weakness under the rug. Getting rid of it will only come when you face it and give it up to God. Only then can He use it for His glory.