New Location.

This is a little heartbreaking, but exciting as well. I've found a love for Tumblr. Therefore....my blog will be moving. I'm not deleting this blog, but I won't be posting here anymore.

New website: http://caseysimplynothing.tumblr.com/

Please keep reading :)

The Thought.

The thought has been in the back of my mind ever since I boarded the plane, saying goodbye to Australia. It lingered and slowly faded as junior year began. Plans of grad school quickly got thrown into the picture and I spent my time planning my future accordingly. One day, a housemate of mine said something as simple as..."America has access to Jesus. There is a church on every corner. The rest of the world is out there waiting for us." She wasn't even talking to me when she said that, but as soon as I heard it images of Melbourne flashed through my mind. Later that day, I went home and read through my journal from Australia and the thought quickly made its way back to my mind. What's one year of my life? It's only 52 weeks. On average, an American lives to the age of 78.5 (yes, I looked it up), which is 4,082 weeks of life. 52 of 4,082 weeks....that's not too much to ask. 

This decision is going to take SO MUCH prayer. I can't even fathom the amount of time I'm going to be spending in the near future asking the Lord to make it completely clear to me what He wants me to do with those 52 weeks. Thinking about it now, it's a lot to ask of a 20 year old college student. An entire year? That's a big sacrifice.

I can't help but put myself in the shoes of the young rich ruler in Luke 18. Sacrificing his possessions and his riches was the one thing he could not do for the Lord. I wonder how God could have used him if he had said "yes...I will give up my life and everything I own to follow You." To be honest, I don't want to look back and ask myself that question in 5 years. Jesus never said living for Him would be easy, but He did say it would be rewarding.

The praying and thinking continues and will continue until the Lord reveals to me that the door leading to sacrificing 52 weeks of my life is a door I'm meant to go through. And throughout all of this, fear is always showing up in different forms: "Am I making a mistake? Am I doing this for myself? Is it a way to escape?"

I was blessed to share 30 minutes with a friend in Australia last night over skype and she said something that resignated with me and will definitely be my go-to when those questions of fear get loud...she said something along the lines of this: "We're human. God knows that and he knows that everything we do will not have pure motives. That's the nature of being sinful. But that does not mean that God can't use a wrong motive for His glory. Selfish motives could bring you to a place of complete humility and sanctification."

The thought is there. The prayers are being lifted. The waiting begins. The listening will never end.

"Is the Lord calling me to Australia to devote a year of ministry for Him?"

Live.

Ever since my cousin died this past August, death has become more real to me. I've lost family members in the past, but this is the first time death has become REAL for me. I got a text from my dad late last night informing me that a close family friend had passed away yesterday afternoon. Though I'm not nearly as close to this man as my dad was (seeing that he was old enough to be my dad's dad) it still brought so much sadness to my heart last night as I was lying in bed. Thinking about all this man accomplished in his life, how many lives he had impacted (my dad and uncles included), and how much he was loved and will be missed. He was well-known in the small town of Smithfield, Va. Everyone remembered him for his old beat up red Jeep Wrangler with no doors, for always having a pipe dangling from his lips, his incredible "blacksmithing" abilities, and mostly for his humor. 

Death is a real thing, but it was something I found myself taking lightly. As I laid in bed last night thinking, praying and rereading the text from my dad, tears started rolling down my cheeks. Death is the ultimate wake-up call when it comes to the urgency of the gospel. Thinking that we're not guaranteed tomorrow makes me tremble knowing there are people in my life that do not know Jesus. It makes my current petty problems and trials disappear as I meditate on the salvation of those who I love the most. Will they ever know Jesus? Do they think they need Jesus? What is holding them back?

Live with urgency. Live with purpose. Live with compassion.

Sunday's Journal Entry

I know I posted earlier today, but I thought I'd quickly share what my journal holds for Jan. 29, 2012:

"This morning at Aletheia, Rob Stephens made such an awesome point in regards to trials. God pushes us to produce perseverence. He allows pain so that our joy is more abundant in the end. Training for this half-marathon is getting hard. 6 miles is just about the half way point and it's tough to make yourself run that distance. But knowing that if I run and deal with the pain and difficulty, the finish line of the race will be that much more enjoyable. Just writing and meditating on the end results gives me motivation to go run (something I didn't want to do AT ALL before writing this). In my mind, I often find myself making excuses to put off training. But looking at it on the large scale, that is only hurting me, and the harder it will be to cross that finish line on April 22nd.

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:4

Crossing the finish line knowing I could've done more would be so disappointing. In the same way, Christ urges me to full out for His kingdom so on the day I see Him face to face, I won't wish that I should have done more.

Run with purpose, passion and a desire to persevere. 6 mile run...bring it."

Rough Week.

The results of giving a situation to God are incredible. This past week was a hard one for me. An incident occurred that had me angry, crying, doubting and feeling completely isolated. Responding to it in a "fleshy" way would've made this already rough situation completely destructive. Instead, I prayed. I literally cried out to the Lord in my bedroom on Wednesday night. I'm not sure how long I was on my knees to Him. But when I crawled into bed that night, there was a sense of peace, knowing that I was bearing the yoke of the Lord, one that was easy and light. Granted, the pain and sin didn't just disappear overnight. I faced major spiritual attack all day Thursday and Friday until the situation was resolved. I knew that this situation was in desperate need of healing, and who better to heal than God himself? I knew I couldn't do it. My sin would corrupt my thoughts, motives and speech and would break God's heart. I asked Him Wednesday night to let the Spirit consume my thoughts and my heart. However this situation was to play out, I wanted God to be glorified. 

When the time came to face the situation, God worked. He healed my hurt, He mended the brokenness, He clarified the confusion. He worked through me and in the situation to bring glory to Himself, and He did so with such beautiful grace.

What I learned from all of this: Glorifying God through hard situations will bring joy that is in no way possible if I were to try to fix it on my own.

Keeping my mind set on how best to keep Christ in the spotlight was what it took, but the joy I feel now and the revelation of His Sovereignty are fully present in my heart.

Thank you Jesus, for the Holy Spirit. Guidance, direction, conviction, and motivation...none of which I would've had without that precious gift. And this precious gift of having Jesus with me always would never have happened if He hadn't have died for me. The death on the cross would've never occurred if God didn't love us enough to send His One and only Son. 

I not only felt the Holy Spirit and witnessed It's  power, I was also reminded of the Trinity and the absolute necessity of it. Thank you Father, Spirit, and Son for giving me a grace so undeserving.

Here are some lyrics from a song that a band here in Harrisonburg, Va (Aletheia) that summarizes all that I've felt this week:

Grace undeserving

Though You were angry

Your anger turned away from us

Our great God

You showed Your love

That while we hated You, You died for us

You demanded blood for my mistakes

Though my own, You did not take

At the cross, You bore what was for me

There they kissed, righteousness and peace

Oh Christ, You humbled Yourself

Became sin for us

And made us alive in You

A Response Proves Value

My response to God is the result of His value to me.

Sleeping in for those 15 extra minutes instead of getting up to read His Word.

Spending pointless time on Pinterest instead of praying.

Having coffee with close friends (or by myself) instead of being intentional about sharing Jesus with a non-believing friend.

Feeling obligated to take on certain tasks instead of delighting in them.

Being asked to clean the dishes instead of serving my housemates.

I'm guilty of each of these.

"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows." -Job 22:21,22,27

Submitting to God means being obedient to His Word. Obedience is taking the initiative with those on campus instead of sipping coffee in the corner of Starbucks with my nose in a book.

Accepting instruction means listening to the Lord. Listening takes patience and quiet time spent with Him in prayer instead of pinning DIY on Pinterest.

Storing up His Words in my heart means reading. Reading means getting up an extra 30 minutes if that's what it takes to find time.

What does the Lord mean to me? Actions produce the answer.

...Convicted. But conviction never goes without repentance. Repentance always ends with remembering the cross. Seeing the cross brings me back to my brokenness and my need for Jesus. And His saving grace brings so much peace to my heart.

Flooded with His Care

I went on a run this afternoon with one of my housemates. We met at our university gym at 4pm to begin our 3.5 mile run around campus. It had gotten pretty cloudy throughout the afternoon, but the forecast was only predicting a 45% chance of rain last time I had checked. The first half of our run was great (granted the majority was all uphill). It wasn't until we got to an intersection with a Hardee's sitting on the corner when I became slightly uncomfortable. Running for about 20 minutes (uphill mostly), I all of a sudden get a huge whiff of fried food. The smell repulsed me. In that instant all I wanted was a big glass of water. I know, my thinking is a little weird, but I was convinced that would help this awful feeling that suddenly came over me. And then it came. The thought hadn't even left my mind when I felt it. I was staring at the hardest part of our run, the .25 miles of a pretty intense incline and He did it. The first drops were slow, but by the time I got half way up the incline, the sidewalk had changed color. The coldness made us run faster. Only half a mile left and we practically sprinted. We end in a tunnel that runs through our campus. And I watched it. He sent the rain. 

You're probably thinking, what the heck are getting at? Again, my thinking is a bit scattered and I know I read into the most infinitesimal things. But to me, it was God caring about me. He knew that the smell of those grease-covered burgers and fries were hindering my run and He fixed it. He brought the rain. He made me forget about the smell and made me run faster for the last mile than I normally would have. He got rid of my hindrance and then did exactly what I needed to finish strong. This is a huge stretch of symbolism...I know. 

A helping hand perfectly timed and not always noticed until we stop and process.

Call me crazy, but I call it Jesus.

Encouraged

This weekend has been full of  listening, absorbing, meditating, evaluating and applying lots of information and Truth. I attended 2 different retreats in a matter of 72 hours and was given a lot to think about. 

 I'm excited about this responsibility of ministry that the Lord has let me be a part of. Meeting with women on a regular basis who love Jesus and who are leading other women into closer, more intimate relationships with their Groom is going to be such a rewarding responsibility. I get to care for them, to encourage them, to pray for them, to help them, and more importantly, to love them. This is a ministry that I have always been passionate about and could easily seeing myself doing the rest of my life.

As I sit in a local coffee shop at 7pm on a Monday night, thinking about all that I heard and experienced this weekend...I'm encouraged.